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Overview
Often referred to as the “Inane Act” or the “Unspeakable Act”, The Extra-Animate Necro-American Integration and Naturalization Act of (Public Law
, Statute
), enacted
, or EANAIN, was an attempt to codify the rights of immigrant and native mummified and subsequently reanimated individuals.
The Act was co-authored by Faust Undercroft, M.A., Ph.D., a professor of Necrobiology, Cryptozoology, Parapsychology, and Fortean Studies at Flinders Petrie State University; Victoria Hades, Ph.D., also a professor of Necrobiology at Flinders Petrie State University; the Egyptian god Imhotep; and
, a
with the
of
.
Historical Perspective
The Silent Invasion
It is unclear when the influx of the artificially and naturally preserved deceased, informally referred to as “mummies”, into North America began. Some experts theorized that it was a concerted, albeit peaceful, immigration; while others espoused more sinister intentions, giving rise to the term The Silent Invasion. As with many waves of immigrants before them, the animated deceased were generally relegated to inferior living conditions and menial labor.
The Hushed Uprising and The Quiet Riot
In , immigrant and native mummies staged The Hushed Uprising, in which coordinated groups throughout North America marched to demand equal rights and the adoption of the term “Necro-Americans”. This was answered immediately by The Quiet Riot, with protesters demanding that the mummies be deported and sent back to wherever they came from.
The Unutterable Integration
In an effort to quell the violence, mummies were temporarily granted equal rights and healthcare, though some politicians and scientists argued that it was a bit late for the latter.
The Unspeakable Act
After lengthy and strenuous negotiations, The Extra-Animate Necro-American Integration and Naturalization Act was passed; primarily as a means of putting an end to the lengthy and strenuous negotiations. Assertions that the Act was rushed through so as to keep reports of the proceedings from overshadowing a certain celebrity wedding/royal scandal are deemed spurious.
The Muffled Aftermath
These historical occurrences faded quickly into public indifference, with a growing percentage of the population choosing to believe that they never took place to begin with. Even those who work with, or otherwise associate with, Necro-Americans, are often hard-pressed to recall the events leading up to the ratification of the EANAIN Act.
The Future of Necro-Americans
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Terminology
The proper term for both immigrant and native mummified and subsequently reanimated individuals is Extra-Animate Necro-Americans, often shortened to Necro-Americans. “Mummies” is also acceptable, though care should be taken to distinguish between those of Egyptian origin (easily distinguished by their traditional linen bandages) and those arising from peat bogs, permafrost, or other accidental or deliberate origins.
The following terms are considered derogatory; hence, their use should be avoided:
- Necros
- Undead
- Living Dead
- Walking Dreadfuls
- Wraps
- Boggies
- Frosties
Author: The Wyvernpediatrician